Four Girls and a Boy

Angel is 'officially' moved out. Her bed is still here and a bit of clothes that she said she couldn't get washed and could I please wash them and bring them when I bring her bed to her (she still needs me!). When we are closer to moving she will also take a few items that she asked for from my junk. Namely, this desktop computer that I am typing on right now and the desk that I am resting the computer and my arms and coffee cup on. I'm glad that she can use them and it is better than putting them in storage. I have a new laptop which makes more sense for our soon to be tight quarters.

Bear seems to be doing well adjusting to life back in school. I know that she is incredibly busy. She has a full load at school, works 20 hours a week there in one of the theatre departments and also has two other little jobs that she works weekends only at. I am impressed with her drive but worry about her a little too. She did seem very happy and healthy though when we saw her on Sunday.

KiKi told me last night that she is breaking up with her 'boyfriend' so she can have some freedom before we move away. Okay let me explain this boyfriend. She is waaaay too young to date or have a boyfriend. But she calls him that. They see each other at school and twice he has come over here and under close super vision (and an 11 year old spy- LuLu) they were allowed to play video games and his guitar. That is the extend of her relationship. Oh and the phone. I am truly beginning to wonder if the phone is attaching itself to KiKi's ear. It might end up needing to be surgically removed. I'm not quite sure what kind of freedom that she is wanting from this obviously engulfing relationship but that is what she said.

LuLu is growing up right before my eyes and very fast. She is the same height as KiKi now and both of them are only about 3 inches shorter than me (I'm not very tall at 5'2"). LuLu actually came to me yesterday to borrow a shirt. I'm not sure how I feel about my 11 year old borrowing my clothes. But then I kind of like it that she thinks my clothes are acceptable for wearing by an 11 year old.

(For some reason I do not have a picture of LuLu by herself on my computer.)

Baby will be here before we know it. J is 28+ weeks along. I think about J and Baby often. It is hard for me not to call her up all the time and ask her what he is doing. Is he kicking? Is he turning? Does he have the hiccups? I am curious about it all but I don't want to be a stalker so I limit my calls. It was great to be able to go down last weekend. Just to be around J and see how beautiful and healthy she is makes me happy. Once we are living closer to her I imagine that she will get sick of seeing me. I plan to make it to every appointment that she has from here on out. Looking at this picture of baby is so odd. It is amazing that technology can give us such a clear view of babies that are still in the womb. Joe and I have been enjoying the DVD that came with our package. Watching him move around is wonderful. We can see his little hands going all over the place in the video. It is very fun!

Craziness Update

We have been having fun here.

Angel- Now has a wedding dress. It is beautiful. We were able to buy it off the rack and it only needs small alterations. A little hemming and the halter part of the dress needs shortened. She is also going to have a french bustle put in so the small train can be put up for the reception. They chose the location for the wedding and the reception. It is a nice place (and the price is right). They are working on the guest list and have picked out the invitations. Once the guest list is closer on numbers we will order the invites. 73 days to Wedding Day!

Bear- is still adapting to a full load at school and a 20 hour a week job.

Our House- We did reach an offer agreement and the home inspection was done today. Hopefully that will turn out well. We found out today that there was a law passed last year that is going to require extra work and money from us to satisfy our counties requirements for the 'lot-of- record'. I'm actually less than pleased with this new development. I understand it but it still frosts my butt. This will be the 5th house I have sold the second that Joe has sold. Neither of us has ever had such a stressful transaction and we are not even a quarter of the way through it. I think that a lot of it has to do with the way the market is. I will say so far it has been very educational and I am incredibly happy that we listed with a realtor instead of doing a For Sale By Owner like we originally planned. Right now we are scheduled to close mid-November. So that brings me to the next part of this update:


Where will we be living next month? Good question. We didn't plan on the house selling so fast. Once we heard that we were getting an offer we scrambled a bit to come up with a solution. We do have property in Wyoming. BARE Property. No house. The idea of living in a travel trailer or two through a Wyoming winter is more than Joe and I can handle. Plus our surrogate is in California. She is due in January. We do not want to be in Wyoming which is even further away than we are now when she goes into labor. So our solution is to winter in California. Joe is from Northern CA and his entire family is still there. His grandma has been nice enough to offer for us stay at her place. She has an RV pad with hookups (water, electric and sewer). We will park our trailer there and my sister will loan us her trailer. So we will be a family living in two travel trailers for the winter. Northern CA in a travel trailer is much more doable than Wyoming in a travel trailer. And Joe has a job lined up. It is a temporary job that will run from early November until spring. Our plan is to be down in CA the second weekend in November. Lots and lots to do in a short amount of time.


KiKi and LuLu- I expected them to be upset about living temporarily in CA but they aren't. They both tell me they are excited. They will go to school with Joe's nieces. I am hopeful that this will be a fun adventure for them.


J and Baby- Doing good. We get to go down and see J next weekend for her OB appointment. And we are going to have a 3D ultrasound. I am very excited that once we are down in CA we will only be 2 1/2 hours from J. That is nothing compared to our distance now. 94 days to baby day!

What Is That Sound?

That is the sound of my plans flying out the window. I know there are some great sayings about 'the best laid plans' and such. It has been nothing short of interesting here this past week. I'll give you all a quick update.

Bear- is back in school. Sophomore year at college. Things are going well except for she missed the deadline for her financial aid. She will still get it but not for six weeks.

LuLu- is tired of the 6th grade but has discovered that boys (one in particular) are less icky than they were in 5th grade. We are also discovering that she is taking about twice as long to get ready to go to school in the mornings.

KiKi- Ah, KiKi. Where do I start. She has a new obsession. The telephone. Earlier I looked over and she had a cell phone on one ear and a land line on the other ear. It is mildly amusing.

Our House- The realtor told me today that an offer is being written tonight for it. We are very hopeful that it will be an offer that we can't refuse.

Angel- This is the big news. Angel showed me her newest possession on Sunday. It is an engagement ring. I about fell over dead. I came back to my senses and then almost fell over once again when she told me that they are planning the wedding for December of this year. Gasp.

I'm thinking my new plan will be not to make any more plans for a while.

Planning

I have mentioned once or twice (probably more) that I am a planner. I like to know what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. Surrogacy has shown me that I can't plan for everything. It has been a hard lesson to learn. I have discovered recently that I passed my planning traits on to my two oldest girls.
While Bear was visiting here a few weeks ago she shared with me her lists and planning journal. She says that the planning helps her with her full schedule (full time college student, part time employee at two different jobs). Growing up she says all of my lists and plans used to drive her crazy but now she understands them more. I showed her my newest obsession My Home Management Binder (it looks something like this but not nearly as nice). Bear liked it so much she made herself one! She rents a room from my parents and they include her food in that so she really doesn't have a home to manage at the moment but I love that she is thinking ahead for when she does. I do worry a little that my small case of OCD has affected her too.
Angel is also doing some planning. She is getting ready to move to an apartment in the city (just under two hours away) with two room mates. Yesterday we talked lots about her plans. She has made her budget plan and a general plan for things they need. Of course, planning a budget is a challenge when you do not yet have a job. (She has an interview today, so hoping that goes well). She is also working on a menu plan. She is a vegetarian and she tends to eat the same things over and over. She knows how to cook a few meals but doesn't expand much beyond that. I have started her a little cookbook so I'm hoping that helps her. And she made my day when she asked me if I could take her grocery shopping. I think though that her first shopping trip will be my cupboards since she hinted that they are very full and I really don't need all that food anyway. uh huh.
Joe and I are working on some plans too. Our house has been on the market for two weeks, we have closed on our Wyoming property, and we are planning for the birth of Baby. We are very much focusing on the Baby. Next month we are going down for the regular OB appointment and then we are going to have a 3D ultrasound done. We are also hoping sometime (maybe November) to be able to get some professional photos done with J. So much going on. It is very exciting!

My Children and Surrogacy

When Joe and I first became serious about doing surrogacy we talked with each of my girls individually in an age appropriate manner. The responses were slightly varied. Bear, my oldest, thought is was a great idea. Angel, my second girl, said something along the lines of "that's fine I'm almost an adult and will be moving out soon so I won't hear the baby cry all the time". Coming from Angel that was an affirmative response. KiKi and LuLu were very excited about the idea of having a baby sister from the beginning. It never occurred to either of them coming from a home of four girls that the baby could end up being a brother. As I mentioned, we explained surrogacy to each of them in a way that we hoped they would understand. I could give more medical style details to the older two. The younger two know about sperm and eggs. All four know that this baby is from J's egg and that J is the biological mom and that J's child is also going to be a sister to the new baby.

Things have went pretty well as far as my girls are concerned. Bear is hoping that the baby will be born on her birthday (7 days before our estimated due date), Angel who always tries to be so tough and act like she could care less has been buying the baby clothes and bibs and socks, KiKi also loves to buy things for the baby and even spends her own money on it (at 13 she doesn't have much money). LuLu had a little mini melt down when we found out that the baby is a boy. She was actually pretty upset about it for a couple of days. Apparently she is under the assumption that since he is a baby boy he will pee on her on a regular basis. hmmmm. LuLu finally got over the fact that he is a boy. When we talk about the baby everyone calls him "our" Baby. This has truly been something that we have all been through as a family. During the entire time we cycled the girls would ask, are 'we' pregnant yet?

Things have been so good that I was surprised when the other day LuLu came to me and in a very serious voice (for an 11 year old) said "Mom, there is something I need to talk to you about. But I want to make sure that I tell you it the right way. So I'll talk to you about it tomorrow when I can get my words put together". I'm thinking "wow, when did my little girl grow up so much?" And then, "uh oh, what is wrong". So the next day she says she is ready to talk. She said that she was afraid that since we were having a new baby boy that Joe and I were starting a new life without her and KiKi. That we would like the boy better than them. To say my heart broke hearing those words would be an understatement.

LuLu and Joe and I talked for a very long time. LuLu had really thought out her side of the conversation very well. She asked lots of very good questions. One of her questions was for Joe. She asked him if he didn't love her and KiKi enough if that is why he wanted his own child. Joe surprised me with his answer. He said "It is because of you and KiKi and how much I love you that I want another child. I never knew what I was missing before."

LuLu's next concern was that she couldn't think of the baby as her 'real' brother. That she would have to call him a half brother or a step brother. So I have to admit that this was a harder question for me to answer. The entire 'title thing' confuses me a little bit as I mentioned in this post. If it gets confusing to me then I would imagine an 11 year old might find it a little confusing. I was able to explain to her in a way that I think she understood. We are doing a Pre Birth Order (PBO). With a PBO my name will go directly on the birth certificate as the Mother. I showed LuLu her birth certificate where it says Mother and showed her my name. I let her know that on the babies birth certificate my name will be in the same spot. She seemed to be pretty happy with that answer and decided 'Just Brother" will work as opposed to step brother or anything else. I personally have mixed feelings about the PBO but for my little LuLu I was happy that we have that option and that I could explain it to her in a way that made sense to her. After that she was obviously quite pleased with the way the conversation went and decided to help us with our Baby Name Saga. She came up with some good ones.


Using surrogacy as an option to add to our family I knew that there would be some challenges. That we would have new emotions/thoughts/feelings to deal with. I know that I don't have all the answers to things that might come up. There will be things that I can't 'fix'. But I truly believe that by discussing our thoughts and feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside we can accomplish more and it brings us closer together.

Friday!

The play was pretty good. It was very long though. We didn't get home until 11. The girls didn't seem too tired this morning but I hate keeping them out that late. One of the things about the play is that everyone is encouraged to throw popcorn at the villains. We were setting in the front so there was lots of popcorn thrown around. At the end of the play the villains get their revenge and throw popcorn back at the audience. KiKi and LuLu loved the popcorn part of the play. I'm glad we went to see the play but once will for sure be enough.

Just a few small projects to do this weekend. I'm painting the front porch and the kitchen door besides that just the ongoing cleaning stuff. I'm leaving work early this afternoon to take Bear to town for some girl time. There are tons of old junk stores here that we want to hit. I am on strict orders to not purchase items that are big due to our upcoming move. Haha... silly man. If I find the perfect (insert whatever) then how could I possibly pass it up?