Counting Down

Our goal is to leave here on Saturday. We have had a super busy weekend. All of our big items (except the beds) and many, many boxes have been moved to the storage unit. Today Joe and I started loading up the trailer that we have here. It is challenging to get everything that we think we will need pared down to what will fit in two travel trailers. I find myself thinking and then over thinking if we will need something or not. At one point today I decided to throw a lot of additional items away that I was planning on keeping. I'm surprisingly okay with it.
Tomorrow, I have a full day. I have a meeting at the school at 7:30 AM, then I'll go into work for a couple of hours, then back home to work on packing and cleaning. Tomorrow will be my last day going into the office. Most of the work I do is from home on the computer now anyway. I was just finishing up a few projects. My replacement is doing wonderful and the less I am there the more it helps the owners transition to relying on her the way they did me.

Joe and I had a wonderful phone conversation today with my friend G and her husband. In the back ground we could hear Baby L. She sounded so cute! I wish we lived closer to them so we could go and see her live and in person. G and her husband sounded on top of the world. It was wonderful to hear the excitement, awe and love in their voices.

Welcome to the World Baby L!

After many years of infertility my good friend G is now a mommy! She and her husband's little girl was born last night via their Traditional Surrogate. I spoke with G a few minutes ago and she is of course over the moon. Baby L is perfect, healthy and beautiful. Their TS is feeling very good and according to G did wonderfully.

Congrats to all of you! Love you G!!

Whirlwind Trip

Joe and I got home at 2AM from a quick trip to CA. Joe had a job interview down there. It is for a temp job with the Parks Department that he is very much hoping to get. We left here at 5:30 Tuesday night. Got down there at about 4AM. Slept a few hours then did some stuff that needed done before the interview. We went to the school that we are hoping to get the girls enrolled in. We have to cross school boundary lines to get them there so we had to find out what was involved with that. The process is now started and we should know the middle of next week if they will let them. I hope so because I refuse to send them to the school that they should go to. My second option may be homeschooling (gulp).
If the Parks job doesn't work out Joe will go back to work for the school district. He was with them for 19 years and they have told him that they would put him on a substitute. That would be just fine if needed but I know that Joe is really hoping the Parks job will pan out. He likes the idea of what he would be doing and feels it would be good experience. His interview was at 2 yesterday afternoon. He'll find out next week. Just in case he did get all of his paperwork in at the school. Either way will be okay. I'm not looking for work down there. I'm still the bookkeeper at my current job (love the Internet) and with the Wedding and the Baby coming we decided it didn't make sense for me to work at all. Even temp work which is what I had planned on. I guess that I will be plenty busy keeping my travel trailers tidy. Surely that will be a full time job in itself. LOL.
I was up early this morning and got my bookkeeper duties for the day done. Next on my agenda is cleaning my house. Then I'm going to go and work on the trailer. Clean it and start moving stuff out there. We only have one trailer here the other is in CA already. It is my sister and her husbands that they had planned on selling and instead are letting us use as long as we need. We won't take that one to Wyoming with us. It is older and there is a fear that it wouldn't make the trip. But it will sure make our CA life more comfortable. Some days I truly think we are nuts for doing this. Of course, then I remind myself that since our house sold so fast we really don't have much of a choice. It's all good.
One of my closest friends (also an Intended Mom via Traditional Surrogacy) may become a Mommy today. She called me this morning and they think that their surro's water broke. They are a couple of weeks early. I'm sure everything will be fine but all of my prayers are with them today.
I am totally bummed that we were only a couple of hours away from J but we didn't get to see her. It was just too quick of a trip for us to try and go down there too. Our anticipated moving day is November 8 and then I'll be able to pop over and see her more often. As nuts as I sometimes think that we are for our housing situation I am very glad that we will be down there. It will be nice to be so close for the birth and for afterwards. As we get closer to the baby being born I think about J even more. I'll probably have to do one of those big deep thoughtful posts again soon talking about my feelings of this whole surrogacy thing. But that is a post for a day when I have had more than 3 1/2 hours of sleep.

Been Awhile

I have become very bad at blogging. Things have been so crazy busy here that the blogging is about the last thing that I think about. Or I start posts and then get too busy to finish them and by the time I go back in the info is out of date.

What we did this weekend was totally fun. We went down for J's OB appointment on Friday. To get there as usual we left here Thursday evening. Got into the town that Joe's parents live in around 3:30 AM. Slept until 6:30 and then got up to finish the journey to J's town. It is another 2.5 hours south. All was going well and we were right on time maybe even a little ahead of schedule. We stopped for gas and then somehow got a flat. Joe my master flat changer had us back on the road soon. We pulled into the doc's office right at the time the appointment was to start. No problem usually because he is always running a little behind. We go into the office and No J. I ask if she has already went back and YEP. She had. The only day the doctor is running on time is the day that we are late. Is that Murphy's Law??

Doctor said that J is doing well and Baby is doing well. He looked so cute on the ultrasound screen. After the appointment we went for lunch. J's daughter was able to join us and my youngest girls were there. It was very fun. Then the BIG EVENT of the day. Our 3D ultrasound! I have to say that was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. They have the room set up for multiple people with multiple viewing screens it is kind of like being in a sports bar and not knowing which TV to watch but the wonderful thing was that each TV had our little guy on it. He was so cute. I couldn't believe how much he looked like Joe. But I think that he had J's lips. It will be interesting to see if he looks the same after he is born as he did in the ultrasound. That was the first 3D ultrasound that I have ever had (don't think that technology was available with my girls). I was kind of nervous about it and not sure if we should do it but I am so glad that we did. It was wonderful. It was so fun to have the girls (mine and J's daughter) in the room during the ultrasound. They were very excited and J's daughter was jumping around so happy to see the Baby. I will love having the memory of our two families together seeing the little guy that we all created.

Craziness Update

We have been having fun here.

Angel- Now has a wedding dress. It is beautiful. We were able to buy it off the rack and it only needs small alterations. A little hemming and the halter part of the dress needs shortened. She is also going to have a french bustle put in so the small train can be put up for the reception. They chose the location for the wedding and the reception. It is a nice place (and the price is right). They are working on the guest list and have picked out the invitations. Once the guest list is closer on numbers we will order the invites. 73 days to Wedding Day!

Bear- is still adapting to a full load at school and a 20 hour a week job.

Our House- We did reach an offer agreement and the home inspection was done today. Hopefully that will turn out well. We found out today that there was a law passed last year that is going to require extra work and money from us to satisfy our counties requirements for the 'lot-of- record'. I'm actually less than pleased with this new development. I understand it but it still frosts my butt. This will be the 5th house I have sold the second that Joe has sold. Neither of us has ever had such a stressful transaction and we are not even a quarter of the way through it. I think that a lot of it has to do with the way the market is. I will say so far it has been very educational and I am incredibly happy that we listed with a realtor instead of doing a For Sale By Owner like we originally planned. Right now we are scheduled to close mid-November. So that brings me to the next part of this update:


Where will we be living next month? Good question. We didn't plan on the house selling so fast. Once we heard that we were getting an offer we scrambled a bit to come up with a solution. We do have property in Wyoming. BARE Property. No house. The idea of living in a travel trailer or two through a Wyoming winter is more than Joe and I can handle. Plus our surrogate is in California. She is due in January. We do not want to be in Wyoming which is even further away than we are now when she goes into labor. So our solution is to winter in California. Joe is from Northern CA and his entire family is still there. His grandma has been nice enough to offer for us stay at her place. She has an RV pad with hookups (water, electric and sewer). We will park our trailer there and my sister will loan us her trailer. So we will be a family living in two travel trailers for the winter. Northern CA in a travel trailer is much more doable than Wyoming in a travel trailer. And Joe has a job lined up. It is a temporary job that will run from early November until spring. Our plan is to be down in CA the second weekend in November. Lots and lots to do in a short amount of time.


KiKi and LuLu- I expected them to be upset about living temporarily in CA but they aren't. They both tell me they are excited. They will go to school with Joe's nieces. I am hopeful that this will be a fun adventure for them.


J and Baby- Doing good. We get to go down and see J next weekend for her OB appointment. And we are going to have a 3D ultrasound. I am very excited that once we are down in CA we will only be 2 1/2 hours from J. That is nothing compared to our distance now. 94 days to baby day!

Baby Thoughts

I have been thinking alot about what could happen when Baby grows up. As I have mentioned we are planning on having a 100% disclosure policy as far as the surrogacy goes. We plan on it just being a part of his life to know about J and J's child (his sister). We won't live nearby but still hope to see each other often (just like seeing the rest of our family) and we will share pictures and video's. We want them to know Baby and Baby to know them. Even with all of that I still have a small fear that when he grows up he will be angry at us for this. That he will be angry that Joe and I 'convinced' his mother (J) to give him up for us. That he will be angry at J for giving him up.
J and I talked about this very thing earlier in the week. We are very hopeful that by always making his origins known that it will help with any feelings that he has. Joe, J and I will always be there for him. The three of us are in this together.

My Children and Surrogacy

When Joe and I first became serious about doing surrogacy we talked with each of my girls individually in an age appropriate manner. The responses were slightly varied. Bear, my oldest, thought is was a great idea. Angel, my second girl, said something along the lines of "that's fine I'm almost an adult and will be moving out soon so I won't hear the baby cry all the time". Coming from Angel that was an affirmative response. KiKi and LuLu were very excited about the idea of having a baby sister from the beginning. It never occurred to either of them coming from a home of four girls that the baby could end up being a brother. As I mentioned, we explained surrogacy to each of them in a way that we hoped they would understand. I could give more medical style details to the older two. The younger two know about sperm and eggs. All four know that this baby is from J's egg and that J is the biological mom and that J's child is also going to be a sister to the new baby.

Things have went pretty well as far as my girls are concerned. Bear is hoping that the baby will be born on her birthday (7 days before our estimated due date), Angel who always tries to be so tough and act like she could care less has been buying the baby clothes and bibs and socks, KiKi also loves to buy things for the baby and even spends her own money on it (at 13 she doesn't have much money). LuLu had a little mini melt down when we found out that the baby is a boy. She was actually pretty upset about it for a couple of days. Apparently she is under the assumption that since he is a baby boy he will pee on her on a regular basis. hmmmm. LuLu finally got over the fact that he is a boy. When we talk about the baby everyone calls him "our" Baby. This has truly been something that we have all been through as a family. During the entire time we cycled the girls would ask, are 'we' pregnant yet?

Things have been so good that I was surprised when the other day LuLu came to me and in a very serious voice (for an 11 year old) said "Mom, there is something I need to talk to you about. But I want to make sure that I tell you it the right way. So I'll talk to you about it tomorrow when I can get my words put together". I'm thinking "wow, when did my little girl grow up so much?" And then, "uh oh, what is wrong". So the next day she says she is ready to talk. She said that she was afraid that since we were having a new baby boy that Joe and I were starting a new life without her and KiKi. That we would like the boy better than them. To say my heart broke hearing those words would be an understatement.

LuLu and Joe and I talked for a very long time. LuLu had really thought out her side of the conversation very well. She asked lots of very good questions. One of her questions was for Joe. She asked him if he didn't love her and KiKi enough if that is why he wanted his own child. Joe surprised me with his answer. He said "It is because of you and KiKi and how much I love you that I want another child. I never knew what I was missing before."

LuLu's next concern was that she couldn't think of the baby as her 'real' brother. That she would have to call him a half brother or a step brother. So I have to admit that this was a harder question for me to answer. The entire 'title thing' confuses me a little bit as I mentioned in this post. If it gets confusing to me then I would imagine an 11 year old might find it a little confusing. I was able to explain to her in a way that I think she understood. We are doing a Pre Birth Order (PBO). With a PBO my name will go directly on the birth certificate as the Mother. I showed LuLu her birth certificate where it says Mother and showed her my name. I let her know that on the babies birth certificate my name will be in the same spot. She seemed to be pretty happy with that answer and decided 'Just Brother" will work as opposed to step brother or anything else. I personally have mixed feelings about the PBO but for my little LuLu I was happy that we have that option and that I could explain it to her in a way that made sense to her. After that she was obviously quite pleased with the way the conversation went and decided to help us with our Baby Name Saga. She came up with some good ones.


Using surrogacy as an option to add to our family I knew that there would be some challenges. That we would have new emotions/thoughts/feelings to deal with. I know that I don't have all the answers to things that might come up. There will be things that I can't 'fix'. But I truly believe that by discussing our thoughts and feelings instead of keeping them bottled up inside we can accomplish more and it brings us closer together.

Titles

I don't usually get to hung up on titles. But in the surrogacy world titles are very common. Panties get in big wads due to titles.



I know that it is very common for a surrogate to be given the title of "Auntie" after the baby is born. For me though I have never been comfortable with the idea of J being called "Auntie J". It just sits wrong with me. In the first place she will not be the babes aunt. She is the biological mother. Not an aunt. As part of our 100% disclosure policy I don't feel that it is honest to call her Aunt J. I know that there are plenty of people that call family friends Aunt or Uncle so maybe thinking of it that way I could see calling her Aunt. Or if she was a gestational surrogate then maybe. But it is so important to us not to 'muddy the waters'. We have so many people involved in this, the baby, J's child, my children it seems to me that the clearer things are kept the better.



So that has been my thinking on it. However, to tell you the truth I have put off having the 'title conversation' with J. If she told me she wanted to be known as Auntie J then that is what we would do. I finally decided a few days ago that it was time for that chat. Turns out she is not too keen on being called Aunt J either. So what do we call her?



The reality is that because of our wanting to be honest she should probably be given a title of Mommy J or something like that. BUT I CAN'T. I just can't do that. I want to be the mommy. I want to be the only mommy. J knows this and agrees. So our plan is to just call her by her first name. In some ways I feel a little bad about that. I feel like I need to take this honesty thing all the way. That I should be the one called by my first name and J should be called mommy. But then I think that could make even more of a mess of things. I will be the one caring for him day in and day out. I will be the one there to kiss his owies, to take him to his first day of school, to give him the sex talk, it's all on me (with Joe's help, of course).



So I guess our 100% disclosure policy has a small flaw in it. Will our baby get confused by calling J's child his sister but that J isn't called his mom? I admit that I get confused thinking of all this a little bit. We have time though to work it all out. Considering that he isn't even born yet. This is unknown territory for us. I'm not sure that we can do everything exactly right. We can just do the best we can day in and day out.

21 weeks!

We are now 21 weeks 2 days. Time is flying by. I am sad that we won't be able to go down for the next OB appointment. Joe needs to have a root canal and has to take some time off for that instead of our baby appointment. Don't Joe's teeth know better than to give him trouble now? I could go down by myself but the idea of a 12+ hour drive on my own is not appealing. I'm still considering it but not sure I'll do it.

Now that we are more than half way we have started thinking about things like when to go down and wait for the baby to come. Baby is due January 10th so right now we are thinking of going down around New Years. Of course, we will change that plan if the doctor says come earlier. We are a little concerned about Joe's work giving him time off. He works for a small company and they do not have to follow the FMLA law (too few employees). So far they have been wonderful about giving a day off here and there when we need it but a few of weeks off may be an issue. There is the possibility that Joe will not be able to stay down with me while we wait for the baby. There is a chance that he will miss the birth. We know that and we don't like it but in the end it will be okay. My work is okay with me going especially since I am hiring a part timer to cover the phones for me and I can do all the computer stuff remotely.

I'm now on count down to pumping. As I have mentioned I am inducing lactation. I have been taking the medication (Domperidone) since June. And my intent is to begin pumping on October 10th. I'll also add a couple of herbs then (fenugreek and blessed thistle) and increase my oatmeal consumption. With the domp, the pumping, the herbs and the oatmeal my hope is that I'll be able to provide most of the milk that the baby will need. I breastfed successfully before so the rumor is that it may be easier for me to induce lactation then if I hadn't. I'm still going to order a Supplemental Nursing System or a Lactaid. Worse case scenario, Inducing Lactation is a bust and we switch over to bottles and formula.

We have been getting our baby gear together. We still need a car seat and more cloth diapers. I have been buying up baby clothes like there is no tomorrow. According to Joe our baby can wear a different outfit every day and instead of washing I can just throw them away. haha. Joe's a funny guy. And Cyn if you are reading we got one of those baby bouncer things you recommended. Thanks for that.

Variety and Opposition

It is said that variety is the spice of life. My life must be pretty spicy! I have so many interests. I was thinking of this today when I was looking at the different blogs that I enjoy. Some are surrogacy related, some are homemaking, some are Christian, some are focused on off-grid living, some on frugality, etc. Quite a variety. I do enjoy many things and I love trying new things. And then as I think about the blogs I read I think about which ones that I am comfortable commenting on. I have commented on a couple of surrogacy related blogs and others that are frugal living, Christian or a combination of many things (but not surrogacy). But the difference is on the surrogacy blogs I comment in known fashion with the ability for those reading it to find my blog. On the other blogs I comment in anonymous fashion. Why is that?

Why am I nervous about people that may not be involved in surrogacy reading my blog? It's not like I just blog about surrogacy. I do mention other things, I do have a full life in addition to being an Intended Mother. So why am I nervous to have people outside of the surrogacy world read this? Because I am (how is that for an answer?). I know that surrogacy is/can be controversial. Especially Traditional Surrogacy. Even in the surrogacy world Traditional Surrogacy is controversial. There are entire groups dedicated to ending Traditional Surrogacy. I would love to be able to just say "Here I am. This is me. Take me or leave me". But instead I hide. I don't like controversy. I don't like people to think ill of me. I want everyone to like me. Even in the online world where people don't even know me I want them to like me. I'm going to work on opening myself up. Maybe if more people could see what a beautiful thing that Traditional Surrogacy can be then there would be less controversy.

Thoughts, Feelings and Surrogacy

Warning: My mind is a scattered mess today and this is a long post about way to many things.

One of the blogs that I frequent http://ivflandonsurrogacyworld.blogspot.com/ had a link on it today to another blog. http://babygiddings.blogspot.com/2008/08/blogging-on-surrogacy-rollercoaster.html (could someone teach me how to link to blogs a better way? My technical skills are lacking).
I very much enjoyed reading this blog ("Our Surrogacy Adventure"). She is so revealing in her posts. It is very good to find another Intended Mother (IM) out there in blog land.

Sometimes as an IM I feel a little alone. I have a good friend who is also an IM via Traditional Surrogacy (TS) and we share everything. The highs and the super lows. But besides for my husband and my friend this has been a lonely process. I can't just tell a regular old girlfriend about my thoughts or feelings because they don't really 'get it'. And to be quite honest I have often felt like an odd ball in the surrogacy world. I know that I am not the normal IM. I have four children that I gave birth to myself.

Sometimes I feel less deserving than the IM's who have never had a child. I feel like I don't really belong. I feel ashamed that I would even pursue surrogacy and want another child. I offset those feelings with reminding myself that my husband has never had a child and that I am doing this for him. But to be quite honest, I am not just doing this for him. I want another child. I want to raise a child with Joe. Sure we could have a fine life without adding a baby to it but I want more. I want it all. And with the help of our surrogate J we can have it all. For a price.

I'm not just talking about a monetary price. Yes, there is that, but there is more to it. We will forever be linked with J. We have invited a third person (and her husband and child) into our life. Our families are forever linked. Joe and I have an obligation to J and her daughter and even her husband to keep that link up forever. Most of the time I don't mind that obligation but sometimes it overwhelms me. I like J very much. I believe that she and I would be friends even if we were not doing this surrogacy thing (in fact, we were friends before we became IM/SM) but to know that no matter what happens that someone is going to be in your life forever it is a hard thing some days. And not for any reason in particular. In some ways I feel like my relationship with J is sort of like my marriage but maybe even more binding in a different way. J has offered me something that most people can't imagine. She has offered me the ability to have another child through her. This child will be her flesh and blood. Her daughter's brother. J and I will forever be connected by this. In a way she is my Sister-Mommy (if you have seen Big Love and heard of Sister-Wives you might get my meaning) we are on a mission together to make this baby.
I don't usually share my feelings on surrogacy with people because I am afraid that I will be viewed as a whack job (but I figure this is a safe place since I'm pretty sure that I only have one reader of my blog anyway and she met me live and in person so she already got a hint at my wackiness). I know that it is more popular to call J an Angel and say all the right things.

But I can't. I know that there will be times when I just want our baby all to myself. When I don't want to have to share him at all with J. When I don't want to think about how I couldn't do this without her. I know myself and I know that there will be times when J will do or say something that will piss me off. There may even be times when I want a 'divorce' from our relationship. But you know what? That is the way it is in relationships. My real life sisters piss me off sometimes but they are still my sisters. My husband he really pushes my buttons but I get over it. J will also irritate me at times (as I'm sure I will and probably do her). Put two strong willed women together and there are bound to be clashes occasionally (especially when both women speak their mind). Truthfully, we have yet to have any real clashes (yes, I did just knock on wood) and I would like to think that the rest of our relationship will also be sunshine and roses. But who are we kidding? lol. This is real life. There will be peaks and valleys. There will be ups and downs. There will be give and take. There will be... okay, you get the drift. I like to believe that the way we are doing this will pay off in the end. That our (and when I say our I mean the collective "our" of Joe, me and J) child will grow up to be happy, healthy and adjusted. That he will always know just how many people love him.

It's a...

Boy!!

The doctor says he is 100% sure that we are having a boy. The baby looked amazing. Just a perfect little baby. He weighs 8 ounces. Can you tell from this blurry picture how cute he is?

Our surro is doing very good. She is feeling much better now that her all day sickness has mostly subsided. She looked beautiful. We had a very nice visit with her but it was too short.

After the doctors appointment Joe and I were able to take a slight detour and meet one of my online friends. We had a wonderful visit. Then back to my sisters place for dinner and sleep. We had only had about and hour and a half of sleep the night before so that bed felt very good! Saturday we got up early to go up in the mountains to camp overnight. We met up with Joe's parents up there. Joe has been going to this one camp ground every deer season since he was about 1 year old (yep, just toddlin' around in a camp ground). Joe's lifelong friends were up there that I had never met. They were so nice and they all knew about our baby on the way (they even all knew we are doing surrogacy) and were very excited for us. It was a great time. And then yesterday (Sunday) we drove home. How is that for an exciting weekend?

I'll follow up with my weekly menu post as soon as I finish it. I'm about half done right now. Nothing too exciting on the menu this week since we will be working hard to get the house ready for the realtor to come next Monday. It's exciting to think that we are going to list our house to sell so we can move next spring. But also a little overwhelming. Baby on the way, selling a house, buying land, building a new house, moving half way across the country. Nothing really to be overwhelmed about, right? haha.

Getting Ready

Here I sit putting in a last blog while waiting for Joe to get home so we can get in the car and drive 500+ miles. I truthfully do not like the drive but I love that we get to do it. For many months we didn't love to go to CA. During the time we were insemming it was more of a chore than a pleasure. I barely remember those days now (okay, that is a little fib) but my husband has very vivid memories of it. Every time we are getting ready to go down for a doctor appointment or a visit Joe says "I sure am glad we are not going to insem". It was apparently very stressful for him. Probably more stressful than I know.
One nice thing about traditional surrogacy is when there is not a positive result than there was only a small wait until we could try again. While that is a nice thing it is also a not very nice thing. During our cycling time I had what I called the two- 2 week waits. The first 2 week wait (2ww) was the usual wait to see if the insem had worked. The second 2ww was the wait to insem again. The second 2ww was harder than the 1st 2ww in some ways. We already knew at that point that the insems didn't work so it would take me a day or two to get over that disappointment. Then it was the 'what do we do next question'. Do we do home insems? IUI's? or Medicated IUI's? Then the planning for going down. Will we fly? Will we drive? If we fly when is the right time to get the tickets for? If we are going to drive will the roads be good so we can drive or will it be a snowstorm? There were times during that planning time when I envied people doing GS.
With IVF everything is planned well in advance. There are protocols to follow and schedules and plans. You know I like plans. Plans made in advance and followed are my favorite. But then today I realized that there is a flip side to GS/IVF. A blog I read often put it in a totally different light. A more 'medical' light. http://ivflandonsurrogacyworld.blogspot.com/
After reading this I realize that the stress that we felt each month while cycling was a lot different than the stress that can be felt while doing IVF. Once we became pregnant most of my stress left. There were the small worries of miscarriage and such but for the most part my stress was gone. Joe's stress left a little slower (he is more of a worrier) but once he saw the baby with his own eyes at the ultrasound most of his stress left too. IVF Land points out the continuing stress that he felt.
Joe and I talk sometimes about doing a sibling project. We have talked about doing ED/GS next time but I have to admit that I love the less medical aspect of TS. And I love the relationship part of it. And sharing in a pregnancy is pretty wonderful.
Joe is home now. So off we go! Back on Monday unless I can sneak in computer time somewhere.

Soccer Player?

J sent us a great text last night. She was letting us know that she felt the baby move on the outside. It is so exciting to think that the baby is big enough for her to feel move like that. According to a weekly update thing that I have emailed to me the baby is 7 ½ inches long and weighs about 7 ounces. It is amazing to me to think of where we started. The first weekly email that I received was from week six. Here is what that said about the baby's size.
How big is your baby?
Your baby is about a ½ inch in length.*

And now we are in the middle of week 18. What a difference! J says that from the kicking she has been feeling she is pretty sure we have a future soccer player. I wonder how much soccer is played in Wyoming...

Stuff

Feeling much better today.

Tonight we are going to get packed and ready to go for the weekend. I am so excited to go down and see J and to go to the OB appointment. Of course, it is nice that J's OB does an ultrasound at every visit too. Almost like icing on the cake. We were not able to go down for last months appointment. It was scheduled at the same time as our trip to Wyoming. So it has been 2 months since we've seen J. I know that she is 'blooming' now from the belly pictures she has sent. I can't wait to see her live and in person.

I am working on a couple of projects right now. I got this 'great' idea to make a scrap book. Problem is that I have never made a scrap book before. I'm not sure it is going to be as easy as I thought. Oh and I not only want to make one scrap book but two. How nuts am I? So far I have these little photo album things that the lady at the craft store told me would work perfectly. I have fancy paper. I have tape and a silver pen and some stickers. Now I need to put it all together. Did I mention that I am not artsy or creative? Where do I start? Tips are welcome.

Project 2 is a Home Management Binder. I started one of these before and fizzled out before I got it made. I found this blog that talks about making them and decided to give it a try again. http://myblessedhome.blogspot.com/2006/04/home-management-binder-101.html#article
It will be nice to have one place to put all of my lists. I look forward to a little organization. It will be especially helpful for when the baby comes.

Project 3 is a journal for the baby. I thought it would be nice for him/her to have when older. Kind of goes along with my 100% disclosure plan. I'm excited to be working on this but a little nervous too. I wonder if there are things that I shouldn't put in a journal for the baby? And if there are then what are those things? I tend to be too honest at times.

I made another batch of yogurt. This one turned out even better than the first batch. Feeling pretty good about my yogurt success!

Menu and homemade yogurt

I only have a few days planned out for this week since we are leaving Thursday evening after work to go down for our surro's OB appointment. It will just be Joe and me since KiKi and LuLu are staying the weekend with their dad and Angel is staying here for work. Joe and I will leave here around 5:30 and get down to Northern CA about 3 AM. We will go to my sister's house and sleep for a few hours and then drive another 2 1/2 hours to meet up with J at the OB's office. It is a loooong drive but so worth it. We'll drive home on Sunday.

Monday: Well that was today.
For breakfast this morning everyone just had cold cereal except Joe who had nothing. He had a tummy ache.
Lunch: Leftovers from the weekend
Dinner: LuLu begged for pizza. So Joe and I gave in and that is what we had. One medium taco pizza and one medium olive and mushroom

Tuesday: Hopefully will be back on track.
Breakfast: Butterscotch oatmeal and banana's
Lunch: Deli sandwiches with carrot and celery sticks
Dinner: Egg Foo Yung with rice and salad

Wednesday
Breakfast: French toast and cantaloupe
Lunch: Deli sandwiches with carrot and celery sticks
Dinner: Pork tacos with rice, cabbage and cheese

Thursday:
Breakfast: Eggs and toast and cantaloupe
Lunch: Deli sandwiches with carrot and celery sticks
Dinner: We will be heading to CA! I'll pack a picnic dinner for Joe and I.


I made yogurt last night. I have tried to make yogurt before with okay results. Last night I tried a different recipe and technique and it turned out very good. I'll try it again tomorrow night. I was surprised how much it made. Just over 2 quarts. KiKi and LuLu love yogurt. Angel doesn't. Joe only eats it if I force him to.

Thinking

Yesterday I found an online journal written by a boy who was conceived via traditional surrogacy. His story was very hard to read. It basically was a handbook of what not to do in my opinion. He said that he didn't know about his history until he was 13 and then was told not to tell anyone which left him feeling 'like a dirty little secret'.

We (Joe, myself and our surrogate J) have talked lots about how we will be honest about surrogacy. Our baby will grow up knowing that he has another sister in California in addition to my children. He will know about J as much as is age appropriate as time goes on. I know that some people do not believe that this is how traditional surrogacy should be. But for us this is the way we think it should be. Is it the right way to do traditional surrogacy? I don't know. I think that the families involved need to do what is best for them. That is why it is so important to go into this with the right person. Joe and I knew what we wanted. We wanted a 100% open relationship. No secrets, no surprises. We were very fortunate to find J who wanted the same thing.

Our hope and prayer is that by having this open relationship we can avoid some of the heartache that the boy in the online journal has experienced. I believe that surrogacy (both gestational and traditional) and egg donation is a wonderful thing. It should never be some dirty little secret that needs to be swept under the rug. We should be able to celebrate it and shout it from the roof tops.

A beautiful belly

Isn't this about the most beautiful belly you have ever seen? To think that our little baby is in their kicking around is such a great thought.

Inducing lactation and BeeBeeGa update

BeeBeeGa is doing pretty good today. They are still doing tests on her. We should have some better answers in the next few days.

I am inducing lactation. For those unfamiliar with this term it means that I intend to breast feed our baby. In order to do this it will take some prep. I am currently on a medication that builds breast tissue and actually has a side effect of lactation. I'll continue on this probably for the entire time that I breast feed. In October I will add an herb or two and start pumping. I think that I will rent a hospital grade pump until the baby comes. The plan is for me to pump every 3 hours and once during the night. Then when the baby arrives hopefully I will have enough milk that I can breastfeed exclusively. But just in case I plan on having a supplemental nursing system on hand. Something like this. http://www.selfexpressions.com/supnursys.html

So far I have been on the lactation producing med for about 5 weeks. My breasts have went from a B cup to a D cup and I have started having some leakage (drops) and they hurt something awful. Ideally, I should be taking birth control pills too as part of this prep time but I have a difficult time with those so I am doing it without and hoping that I get good results. My husband is pretty excited about my results so far from his manly point of view. Men.

Baby News!

Our surro called. Well she actually left me a message since I didn't hear my phone ring. The message was one of the best messages I have ever received. She called to tell us that she can now feel the baby moving! WhooHoo!!