This Week

This has been a very long week. My home computer has a virus so it is now with some smart guy who knows how to fix it. How in the world will I survive the weekend without a computer? I am almost breaking out in hives just thinking about it. I don't even know if I can cook without the computer since I get most of my recipes from there. My poor family might have to just eat cold sandwiches all weekend. haha.

Last night I did the most boring job ever. Joe and I climbed up on our roof and picked the moss out of the roof cracks. You have never lived until you have picked moss out of cracks. I am going to make a list of things that I will not miss about living in the Pacific Northwest. Top of the list will be 'picking moss out of the cracks'. The tips of my fingers are actually raw and bloody. And the bad part. We only were able to finish half of the roof last night and have to go back up tonight. Sob.

This weekend will be more house fixing up work. We only have a small list to complete before the house goes on the market. And it is mostly easy stuff.

Monday my oldest daughter is coming home for a couple of weeks. She went away to college last fall. Last year she lived on campus. After school ended she moved in with my folks (which is only about 20 minutes from college). She has been working and traveling over the summer but now has some time off so she is coming home. We are all excited. It is amazing to me to have two adult children. Bear is 19 and Angel is 18. I wonder how they got so old. I wonder how I got so old. They are both amazing. I look at them and think "WOW. How did I get these girls? How did they turn out so good?" Have I mentioned that Bear will turn 20 on January 3rd? Our baby is due January 10th. 20 years between the oldest and the youngest. Wowzers.

Whew!

Realtor visit went well. The listing price she is suggesting is right in the range we are wanting to list at. Of course, listing price and price that it sells for may be two different things. At the moment we aren't in a big hurry to sell since we want to wait until spring to move but listing times here average 90+ days so it could work out good. Then again come spring I may be on here whining about how our house won't sell. We are going to finish up a few projects and official list date will be 9/8.



Once our projects are done and the listing is active the fun of living in a fish bowl begins. This part scares me. I am domestically challenged in the area of housework. I struggle to keep the house clean and tidy and fail often. I do have my Home Management Binder completed that I mentioned I was making. It has been helping me to stay on task and keep organized. And I made an entire section for my beloved weekly menus! I even use the binder to help with my youngest girls schedules. I wish I would have known about this binder thing years ago!

Alert, Alert!

I have a realtor due here in 35 minutes to chat about listing our house. I do not like selling homes. I've done it before and it doesn't get any easier. And right now with a sluggish (that is the term the realtor used) market it is a super scary thing. I'll report back on how it went and hopefully the news will be that we are listed.

It's Saturday!

I love Saturday's. I sleep in late, then I lounge around for a little bit on the 'puter, then I make us a little brunch and then I get to work. We spend most of our Saturday's (and often Sunday's) working on fixing up this 108 year old home.

Before we were fixing it up for us, now we are fixing it up to sell. The realtor is coming on Monday to see about listing it so this weekend will be full. In fact, I should be making our brunch right now instead of sitting here typing so I can get to work. Joe has already been painting for 2 hours and I'm still in my jammies.

We have done quite a bit of work to this place. We are hoping that the realtor will agree and not want us to do much more. I'm about burnt out. It is not nearly as fun to fix up a place that we are selling compared to one we are trying to make 'ours'. I do love this house though. And part of me wishes we were staying here.

We live in the country. 19 miles east of the nearest real town. That town isn't very big (population of about 10,000) but if we drive about 45 minutes east we can get to a bigger town (of about 40,000) or 2 hours east to Portland (really big town). It is beautiful here. Our house sits up on a little hill and overlooks a slough and a small valley. The picture above is the view that we have from our front deck. Usually it is very green but we are having a dry year. You can't see the slough very well in the pic but it is there. I'll miss that view when we move to Wyoming. We are going to be put an offer in on a piece of property this coming week that has a pretty nice view too. Different but still nice. I am very hopeful that we will get it. No house on the property just a septic and a well so we will build a house. Fun times.

Variety and Opposition

It is said that variety is the spice of life. My life must be pretty spicy! I have so many interests. I was thinking of this today when I was looking at the different blogs that I enjoy. Some are surrogacy related, some are homemaking, some are Christian, some are focused on off-grid living, some on frugality, etc. Quite a variety. I do enjoy many things and I love trying new things. And then as I think about the blogs I read I think about which ones that I am comfortable commenting on. I have commented on a couple of surrogacy related blogs and others that are frugal living, Christian or a combination of many things (but not surrogacy). But the difference is on the surrogacy blogs I comment in known fashion with the ability for those reading it to find my blog. On the other blogs I comment in anonymous fashion. Why is that?

Why am I nervous about people that may not be involved in surrogacy reading my blog? It's not like I just blog about surrogacy. I do mention other things, I do have a full life in addition to being an Intended Mother. So why am I nervous to have people outside of the surrogacy world read this? Because I am (how is that for an answer?). I know that surrogacy is/can be controversial. Especially Traditional Surrogacy. Even in the surrogacy world Traditional Surrogacy is controversial. There are entire groups dedicated to ending Traditional Surrogacy. I would love to be able to just say "Here I am. This is me. Take me or leave me". But instead I hide. I don't like controversy. I don't like people to think ill of me. I want everyone to like me. Even in the online world where people don't even know me I want them to like me. I'm going to work on opening myself up. Maybe if more people could see what a beautiful thing that Traditional Surrogacy can be then there would be less controversy.

Thoughts, Feelings and Surrogacy

Warning: My mind is a scattered mess today and this is a long post about way to many things.

One of the blogs that I frequent http://ivflandonsurrogacyworld.blogspot.com/ had a link on it today to another blog. http://babygiddings.blogspot.com/2008/08/blogging-on-surrogacy-rollercoaster.html (could someone teach me how to link to blogs a better way? My technical skills are lacking).
I very much enjoyed reading this blog ("Our Surrogacy Adventure"). She is so revealing in her posts. It is very good to find another Intended Mother (IM) out there in blog land.

Sometimes as an IM I feel a little alone. I have a good friend who is also an IM via Traditional Surrogacy (TS) and we share everything. The highs and the super lows. But besides for my husband and my friend this has been a lonely process. I can't just tell a regular old girlfriend about my thoughts or feelings because they don't really 'get it'. And to be quite honest I have often felt like an odd ball in the surrogacy world. I know that I am not the normal IM. I have four children that I gave birth to myself.

Sometimes I feel less deserving than the IM's who have never had a child. I feel like I don't really belong. I feel ashamed that I would even pursue surrogacy and want another child. I offset those feelings with reminding myself that my husband has never had a child and that I am doing this for him. But to be quite honest, I am not just doing this for him. I want another child. I want to raise a child with Joe. Sure we could have a fine life without adding a baby to it but I want more. I want it all. And with the help of our surrogate J we can have it all. For a price.

I'm not just talking about a monetary price. Yes, there is that, but there is more to it. We will forever be linked with J. We have invited a third person (and her husband and child) into our life. Our families are forever linked. Joe and I have an obligation to J and her daughter and even her husband to keep that link up forever. Most of the time I don't mind that obligation but sometimes it overwhelms me. I like J very much. I believe that she and I would be friends even if we were not doing this surrogacy thing (in fact, we were friends before we became IM/SM) but to know that no matter what happens that someone is going to be in your life forever it is a hard thing some days. And not for any reason in particular. In some ways I feel like my relationship with J is sort of like my marriage but maybe even more binding in a different way. J has offered me something that most people can't imagine. She has offered me the ability to have another child through her. This child will be her flesh and blood. Her daughter's brother. J and I will forever be connected by this. In a way she is my Sister-Mommy (if you have seen Big Love and heard of Sister-Wives you might get my meaning) we are on a mission together to make this baby.
I don't usually share my feelings on surrogacy with people because I am afraid that I will be viewed as a whack job (but I figure this is a safe place since I'm pretty sure that I only have one reader of my blog anyway and she met me live and in person so she already got a hint at my wackiness). I know that it is more popular to call J an Angel and say all the right things.

But I can't. I know that there will be times when I just want our baby all to myself. When I don't want to have to share him at all with J. When I don't want to think about how I couldn't do this without her. I know myself and I know that there will be times when J will do or say something that will piss me off. There may even be times when I want a 'divorce' from our relationship. But you know what? That is the way it is in relationships. My real life sisters piss me off sometimes but they are still my sisters. My husband he really pushes my buttons but I get over it. J will also irritate me at times (as I'm sure I will and probably do her). Put two strong willed women together and there are bound to be clashes occasionally (especially when both women speak their mind). Truthfully, we have yet to have any real clashes (yes, I did just knock on wood) and I would like to think that the rest of our relationship will also be sunshine and roses. But who are we kidding? lol. This is real life. There will be peaks and valleys. There will be ups and downs. There will be give and take. There will be... okay, you get the drift. I like to believe that the way we are doing this will pay off in the end. That our (and when I say our I mean the collective "our" of Joe, me and J) child will grow up to be happy, healthy and adjusted. That he will always know just how many people love him.

Menu week of 8/18

Monday
We got home so late on Sunday night that I didn't have a plan for breakfast or lunch. So everyone was on their own with cold cereal and sandwiches.
Dinner: Salmon patty sandwiches, celery and carrot sticks and bread budding for dessert.

Tuesday
Breakfast: Butterscotch Oatmeal and a banana
Lunch: Deli meat and cheese sandwiches (Joe and I will pass on the bread part in all sandwiches for this week. We are hoping to lose a few pounds), carrot sticks, grapes
Snack: Yogurt
Dinner: Swedish Meatballs, Homemade egg noodles, salad

Wednesday
Breakfast: French Toast
Lunch: Egg Salad sandwich, celery and carrot sticks, plum
Snack: Yogurt
Dinner: Cheese Omelets and cinnamon rolls (okay, so the diet part and cinnamon rolls. KiKi has been asking for these and Joe loves them too. He says that he can eat just one.)

Thursday
Breakfast:Yogurt Parfait
Lunch: Tuna salad sandwiches, celery and carrot sticks, peaches
Snack: Deli meat and cheese cubes
Dinner: Pinto Beans, rice, Swiss chard

Friday
Breakfast: Oatmeal Pancakes, peaches
Lunch: PB & J sandwiches (I'm not sure what I will make for Joe and me yet), carrot and celery sticks and whatever fruit that I have left.
Snack: Yogurt
Dinner: Tacos made with taco hamburger meat, refried beans (leftover from last night), rice, cheese, sour cream and cabbage all put in homemade flour tortillas.

Saturday
Brunch: Baked Oatmeal
Snack: yogurt
Dinner: Enchilada Casserole, green salad

Sunday
Brunch: Crepes
Snack: Yogurt
Dinner: Roasted Chicken, mashed potatoes, broccoli


You will notice a lot of yogurt in my menu. Now that I have a good recipe for making it I plan to take advantage of it. Joe, LuLu and I have irritable stomachs. Yogurt helps, so adding a daily serving is something we are going to try for a few weeks.

I am also working on simplifying things a bit. I read on someones blog that they eat the same thing for breakfast each week. Every Monday they have eggs, every Tuesday pancakes, etc. I thought I would try that for a while and see how it goes. If anyone complains I can always switch it around. But chances are good no one will notice. We'll see. I think with school starting again in two weeks I will do the same for lunches. Sure would make it easier on me not having to come up with new stuff each week. And it would make the grocery shopping easier too. I'm liking the idea.

It's a...

Boy!!

The doctor says he is 100% sure that we are having a boy. The baby looked amazing. Just a perfect little baby. He weighs 8 ounces. Can you tell from this blurry picture how cute he is?

Our surro is doing very good. She is feeling much better now that her all day sickness has mostly subsided. She looked beautiful. We had a very nice visit with her but it was too short.

After the doctors appointment Joe and I were able to take a slight detour and meet one of my online friends. We had a wonderful visit. Then back to my sisters place for dinner and sleep. We had only had about and hour and a half of sleep the night before so that bed felt very good! Saturday we got up early to go up in the mountains to camp overnight. We met up with Joe's parents up there. Joe has been going to this one camp ground every deer season since he was about 1 year old (yep, just toddlin' around in a camp ground). Joe's lifelong friends were up there that I had never met. They were so nice and they all knew about our baby on the way (they even all knew we are doing surrogacy) and were very excited for us. It was a great time. And then yesterday (Sunday) we drove home. How is that for an exciting weekend?

I'll follow up with my weekly menu post as soon as I finish it. I'm about half done right now. Nothing too exciting on the menu this week since we will be working hard to get the house ready for the realtor to come next Monday. It's exciting to think that we are going to list our house to sell so we can move next spring. But also a little overwhelming. Baby on the way, selling a house, buying land, building a new house, moving half way across the country. Nothing really to be overwhelmed about, right? haha.

Getting Ready

Here I sit putting in a last blog while waiting for Joe to get home so we can get in the car and drive 500+ miles. I truthfully do not like the drive but I love that we get to do it. For many months we didn't love to go to CA. During the time we were insemming it was more of a chore than a pleasure. I barely remember those days now (okay, that is a little fib) but my husband has very vivid memories of it. Every time we are getting ready to go down for a doctor appointment or a visit Joe says "I sure am glad we are not going to insem". It was apparently very stressful for him. Probably more stressful than I know.
One nice thing about traditional surrogacy is when there is not a positive result than there was only a small wait until we could try again. While that is a nice thing it is also a not very nice thing. During our cycling time I had what I called the two- 2 week waits. The first 2 week wait (2ww) was the usual wait to see if the insem had worked. The second 2ww was the wait to insem again. The second 2ww was harder than the 1st 2ww in some ways. We already knew at that point that the insems didn't work so it would take me a day or two to get over that disappointment. Then it was the 'what do we do next question'. Do we do home insems? IUI's? or Medicated IUI's? Then the planning for going down. Will we fly? Will we drive? If we fly when is the right time to get the tickets for? If we are going to drive will the roads be good so we can drive or will it be a snowstorm? There were times during that planning time when I envied people doing GS.
With IVF everything is planned well in advance. There are protocols to follow and schedules and plans. You know I like plans. Plans made in advance and followed are my favorite. But then today I realized that there is a flip side to GS/IVF. A blog I read often put it in a totally different light. A more 'medical' light. http://ivflandonsurrogacyworld.blogspot.com/
After reading this I realize that the stress that we felt each month while cycling was a lot different than the stress that can be felt while doing IVF. Once we became pregnant most of my stress left. There were the small worries of miscarriage and such but for the most part my stress was gone. Joe's stress left a little slower (he is more of a worrier) but once he saw the baby with his own eyes at the ultrasound most of his stress left too. IVF Land points out the continuing stress that he felt.
Joe and I talk sometimes about doing a sibling project. We have talked about doing ED/GS next time but I have to admit that I love the less medical aspect of TS. And I love the relationship part of it. And sharing in a pregnancy is pretty wonderful.
Joe is home now. So off we go! Back on Monday unless I can sneak in computer time somewhere.

Soccer Player?

J sent us a great text last night. She was letting us know that she felt the baby move on the outside. It is so exciting to think that the baby is big enough for her to feel move like that. According to a weekly update thing that I have emailed to me the baby is 7 ½ inches long and weighs about 7 ounces. It is amazing to me to think of where we started. The first weekly email that I received was from week six. Here is what that said about the baby's size.
How big is your baby?
Your baby is about a ½ inch in length.*

And now we are in the middle of week 18. What a difference! J says that from the kicking she has been feeling she is pretty sure we have a future soccer player. I wonder how much soccer is played in Wyoming...

Stuff

Feeling much better today.

Tonight we are going to get packed and ready to go for the weekend. I am so excited to go down and see J and to go to the OB appointment. Of course, it is nice that J's OB does an ultrasound at every visit too. Almost like icing on the cake. We were not able to go down for last months appointment. It was scheduled at the same time as our trip to Wyoming. So it has been 2 months since we've seen J. I know that she is 'blooming' now from the belly pictures she has sent. I can't wait to see her live and in person.

I am working on a couple of projects right now. I got this 'great' idea to make a scrap book. Problem is that I have never made a scrap book before. I'm not sure it is going to be as easy as I thought. Oh and I not only want to make one scrap book but two. How nuts am I? So far I have these little photo album things that the lady at the craft store told me would work perfectly. I have fancy paper. I have tape and a silver pen and some stickers. Now I need to put it all together. Did I mention that I am not artsy or creative? Where do I start? Tips are welcome.

Project 2 is a Home Management Binder. I started one of these before and fizzled out before I got it made. I found this blog that talks about making them and decided to give it a try again. http://myblessedhome.blogspot.com/2006/04/home-management-binder-101.html#article
It will be nice to have one place to put all of my lists. I look forward to a little organization. It will be especially helpful for when the baby comes.

Project 3 is a journal for the baby. I thought it would be nice for him/her to have when older. Kind of goes along with my 100% disclosure plan. I'm excited to be working on this but a little nervous too. I wonder if there are things that I shouldn't put in a journal for the baby? And if there are then what are those things? I tend to be too honest at times.

I made another batch of yogurt. This one turned out even better than the first batch. Feeling pretty good about my yogurt success!

A bug?

Woke up this morning with a headache. I thought that it would go away but instead it turned into something resembling a migraine. I ended up staying home from work and not doing much but sleeping. I'm thinking that Joe will be cooking dinner tonight with me assisting from afar. It is always interesting when Joe makes dinner. He does a pretty good job but has a limited amount of items he knows how to make. I'm thinking he can make fried rice. That should be easy. And green salad. That is super easy. I need to come up with a list of meals that he knows how to make and keep those ingredients on hand and ready for him. Now that would be a good plan!

Menu and homemade yogurt

I only have a few days planned out for this week since we are leaving Thursday evening after work to go down for our surro's OB appointment. It will just be Joe and me since KiKi and LuLu are staying the weekend with their dad and Angel is staying here for work. Joe and I will leave here around 5:30 and get down to Northern CA about 3 AM. We will go to my sister's house and sleep for a few hours and then drive another 2 1/2 hours to meet up with J at the OB's office. It is a loooong drive but so worth it. We'll drive home on Sunday.

Monday: Well that was today.
For breakfast this morning everyone just had cold cereal except Joe who had nothing. He had a tummy ache.
Lunch: Leftovers from the weekend
Dinner: LuLu begged for pizza. So Joe and I gave in and that is what we had. One medium taco pizza and one medium olive and mushroom

Tuesday: Hopefully will be back on track.
Breakfast: Butterscotch oatmeal and banana's
Lunch: Deli sandwiches with carrot and celery sticks
Dinner: Egg Foo Yung with rice and salad

Wednesday
Breakfast: French toast and cantaloupe
Lunch: Deli sandwiches with carrot and celery sticks
Dinner: Pork tacos with rice, cabbage and cheese

Thursday:
Breakfast: Eggs and toast and cantaloupe
Lunch: Deli sandwiches with carrot and celery sticks
Dinner: We will be heading to CA! I'll pack a picnic dinner for Joe and I.


I made yogurt last night. I have tried to make yogurt before with okay results. Last night I tried a different recipe and technique and it turned out very good. I'll try it again tomorrow night. I was surprised how much it made. Just over 2 quarts. KiKi and LuLu love yogurt. Angel doesn't. Joe only eats it if I force him to.

Changing plans

I am a planner. I like to have an idea of what is going to happen with things so I plan. And I plan. And I plan. Sometimes I plan so much that I don't get to the actual task that needs to be accomplished. It is a bad thing. Most of my planning though helps me. Like my menu plans. They give me a good guideline of what to do. It is so much easier for me to have an idea in place than to try to figure out something at the last minute. This weekend though my menu plans didn't come to fruition. It is turning out okay though. Here is what our menu plan for the weekend was supposed to be:
Saturday
Brunch: Oatmeal pancakes with fruit
Dinner: Pork Roast, barley pilaf and zucchini
Sunday
Brunch: Baked french toast
Dinner: Egg foo young and veggie rice

What we actually did was:
Saturday Brunch: Out. We tried a new restaurant that just opened up about 5 miles from here. We live in the country so a new restaurant out here is a BIG deal. It was okay. Sad to say nothing special.
Dinner: LuLu has been wanting salmon so I bought some today at our big shopping trip. Joe doesn't like salmon (he says he ate too much of it growing up). So dinner was;
Salmon for the girls and me. Shrimp for Joe
Mashed potatoes
Edamame

Sunday Brunch: I made scones. I only make this one a month or so. We consider them a treat. I'll post the recipe below it is super easy.
Dinner: Will be the pork roast, barley pilaf and green salad.

Another plan that we have had in place has been working on our house. Originally, we were going to fix it up to live here forever. But the weather and my husband don't mix very well. So now we are finishing it up to sell. Today we are working in the bathroom. We had already done almost all of it (new tub surround, new sink, new light fixtures, paint, new floor) today we are putting the trim up. Right now Joe is measuring it and then I will paint it. I can already tell that this is not going to be a fun job. He has had to cut the same board 3 times now. Do I hear cut number 4 gearing up? Yikes.
If we get the bathroom done today then we will work on our bedroom. Our bedroom will also be the nursery while we live here. I'm very excited to set it up. I have a plan, of course, for how cute it will look.

Oatmeal Whatever Scones

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

1 1/2 cup flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 cup uncooked oatmeal
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Mix together above ingredients

1/4 cup softened margarine
Cut in margarine

1/2 cup whatever.
Here is where I put in whatever I have on hand. Craisins, raisins, grated cheddar cheese, frozen strawberries that I have cut in quarters, chocolate chips, butterscotch chips, blueberries, blackberries cut up, etc. Almost anything will work. Mix in.

3/4 cup buttermilk (or regular milk with 2 tsp vinegar added to it).
Add the milk a little at a time and stir it in just until moistened. Divide the dough in half. Flour hands and pat dough into two circles on a greased cookie sheet about 1/2 inch thick. Cut into quarters. Bake for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, beat one egg. After the 10 minutes cooking time brush egg on the scones and then bake until golden brown about 3-4 minutes longer.

I sometimes make a glaze for these out of lemon or orange juice (or just milk) and powered sugar. Or just serve with honey, butter or jam.

I found this basic recipe in the Tightwad Gazette. It is so easy to make and we love the variations. Usually, I make a double batch and then divide that in half and add one whatever addition to part and something else to the other part. This morning I did half with craisins and put a lemon glaze on them when done baking. The other half was cheddar cheese with no glaze just plain. The were delicious and very most.

BeeBeeGa is getting out!

We just found out that Joe's grandma BeeBeeGa gets to go home. In a few weeks she will have surgery to remove the cancer but she is totally stable now. She told Joe she is sure glad she's going home because she was about ready to bust out of there. What a feisty lady!

Thinking

Yesterday I found an online journal written by a boy who was conceived via traditional surrogacy. His story was very hard to read. It basically was a handbook of what not to do in my opinion. He said that he didn't know about his history until he was 13 and then was told not to tell anyone which left him feeling 'like a dirty little secret'.

We (Joe, myself and our surrogate J) have talked lots about how we will be honest about surrogacy. Our baby will grow up knowing that he has another sister in California in addition to my children. He will know about J as much as is age appropriate as time goes on. I know that some people do not believe that this is how traditional surrogacy should be. But for us this is the way we think it should be. Is it the right way to do traditional surrogacy? I don't know. I think that the families involved need to do what is best for them. That is why it is so important to go into this with the right person. Joe and I knew what we wanted. We wanted a 100% open relationship. No secrets, no surprises. We were very fortunate to find J who wanted the same thing.

Our hope and prayer is that by having this open relationship we can avoid some of the heartache that the boy in the online journal has experienced. I believe that surrogacy (both gestational and traditional) and egg donation is a wonderful thing. It should never be some dirty little secret that needs to be swept under the rug. We should be able to celebrate it and shout it from the roof tops.

A beautiful belly

Isn't this about the most beautiful belly you have ever seen? To think that our little baby is in their kicking around is such a great thought.

Inducing lactation and BeeBeeGa update

BeeBeeGa is doing pretty good today. They are still doing tests on her. We should have some better answers in the next few days.

I am inducing lactation. For those unfamiliar with this term it means that I intend to breast feed our baby. In order to do this it will take some prep. I am currently on a medication that builds breast tissue and actually has a side effect of lactation. I'll continue on this probably for the entire time that I breast feed. In October I will add an herb or two and start pumping. I think that I will rent a hospital grade pump until the baby comes. The plan is for me to pump every 3 hours and once during the night. Then when the baby arrives hopefully I will have enough milk that I can breastfeed exclusively. But just in case I plan on having a supplemental nursing system on hand. Something like this. http://www.selfexpressions.com/supnursys.html

So far I have been on the lactation producing med for about 5 weeks. My breasts have went from a B cup to a D cup and I have started having some leakage (drops) and they hurt something awful. Ideally, I should be taking birth control pills too as part of this prep time but I have a difficult time with those so I am doing it without and hoping that I get good results. My husband is pretty excited about my results so far from his manly point of view. Men.

Baby News!

Our surro called. Well she actually left me a message since I didn't hear my phone ring. The message was one of the best messages I have ever received. She called to tell us that she can now feel the baby moving! WhooHoo!!

Menu for the week

With going out of town for Joe's BeeBeeGa I got a little bit off on my menus. Happily I already had this weeks menu plan in place. It is not very exciting (simple food is my motto- think Little House on the Prairie simple) but it will be good to eat at home again. All of our meals for two days were eaten in restaurants. I love eating in restaurants but my tummy and my weight suffer from it. So here is the menu for the rest of the week.

Tuesday
Dinner: Lentils and rice with green salad

Wednesday
Breakfast: rice cereal, eggs and fruit
Lunch: Egg salad sandwiches, carrots and fruit
Dinner: lentil patties, green salad and pickled cucumbers

Thursday
Breakfast: oatmeal, eggs and fruit
Lunch: PB sandwiches, carrots and fruit
Dinner: Lentil loaf (think meatloaf with no meat), mashed potatoes and glazed carrots

Friday
Breakfast: Eggs, toast and fruit
Lunch: Leftovers
Dinner: Homemade pizza and salad

Saturday
Brunch: Oatmeal pancakes with fruit
Dinner: Pork Roast, barley pilaf and zucchini

Sunday
Brunch: Baked french toast
Dinner: Egg foo young and veggie rice

Other additions to the meals will be some kind of bread, muffin or roll. I never quite know what until that day. It just depends on what I made the day before and what is leftover. And we always have fresh fruit and veggies available for snacking on.

Joe's Grandma

We got a call late Saturday night that Joe's Grandma was sick and going to the hospital. We went down there (about 4 hour drive from us) on Sunday. She is in pretty bad shape. We ended up staying down there Sunday night. Thankfully, my parents live about 30 minutes from the hospital that Joe's Grandma was in. Yesterday they transferred her to a big university hospital about an hour and half from us. We will probably go there tomorrow night.

Joe's Grandma (he grew up calling her BeeBeeGa so that is what we will call her too) was in alot of pain. At one point we were in seeing her and she was doing pretty well. She started talking about our baby and how excited that she is that we are having one. I was so amazed that in the condition she was in that she was so focused on us and our happiness and the excitement of having a new baby in the family. BeeBeeGa is an amazing woman. I can't wait for her to meet our baby. We are very prayerful that she will return to her usual good health.

Surrogacy and Us- A long post

I'm thinking about our baby alot today. I wonder what he will be like (other than wonderful). How he will look, what he will smell like, how he will act. This baby is not biologically my child but I already love him so much that I can barely stand it.


In 1999 I had a hysterectomy. I didn't want to have one but was told it was my only chance at living a normal pain free life. I was told that since I had 4 children already that it wouldn't matter that I didn't have a uterus. At the time I agreed.


Fast forward to 2006. My marriage had ended a few years before (probably many years but it took a while for me to admit that) and I was a single girl NOT looking for love. But I found it, by accident. One of the first in-depth conversations that I had with Joe was me telling him that if he chose to be with me he would never be able to have children of his own. Joe had never been married and had not had any children at the ripe 'old age' of 37. You know what Joe said? He said 'it doesn't matter. I want to be with you.' He melted my heart that day. Within a span of about two minutes we knew that we would be living together in the very near future as husband and wife. Before our marriage we started talking about surrogacy. I had heard of it years before and then saw a movie on Lifetime about it recently which is what began our conversation. It seemed like it might be an option for us. We thought at that time that we would do GS using my eggs. As it turned out my eggs were about as good as sawdust so that wasn't an option. Then we started talking about adoption. But we discovered that adopting an infant would be unlikely since I already had 4 children. So we started looking into adopting older children. I discovered that I wouldn't be equipped to do that. We thought that having a child together was not an option after all. I'm not really sure when we decided to look at traditional surrogacy. But one day we did. And we knew that if we could find the right person to go thru it with that traditional surrogacy would be for us.


For those who don't know traditional surrogacy involves the surrogate using her own eggs. Usually this is done thru artificial insemination but occasionally thru IVF. The process of finding a person to go thru this with is not easy. I knew what I wanted. I wanted someone who I would be friends with 'in real life'. Someone who I could share things with and laugh with and cry with. Someone who I liked. We matched with a very sweet girl in SoCal. She and I got along well. We cycled for 5 months with her without a pregnancy. Then she met a man on the Internet and they wanted to get married and have kids of their own. She said that she would still have a baby for us first but Joe and I couldn't feel good about that. During most of the time that we were cycling with her (we will call her C) I was chatting with another person thru email. She (J) and I were friends. Joe and I had originally talked with her about being our surro but due to timing and other things we chose to just be friends. J was my source for questions and one of my sources for venting. She provided an experience view point for all things surrogacy. J was matched with another couple. Things didn't work out for that match. Eventually, we (J and I) decided maybe we should just think about matching. We already knew we got along well. We were already friends. We thought about traditional surrogacy in basically the same way (honesty was super important to both of us) so we decided to meet in person. The minute that we met I knew. She and I were like sisters. Joe liked her honesty and her calmness. We cycled 3 times with no pregnancy. The fourth time we did a medicated cycle.
Our medicated cycle was challenging. I hated J having to take the Clomid. She went in for an ultrasound on Wednesday, April 16. There was one perfect follicle (these are what the eggs are in) and one close to perfect follicle. The plan was for us to drive down on Thursday and she would have a trigger shot (this makes the egg(s) drop) and we would do IUI's on Friday. We left our home on Thursday night after working all day and drove for most of the night. Fortunately Joe's parents live about 2.5 hours from J. We stayed there a few hours and slept and then went on down to the town J lives in. Joe went to the doctor and 'did his thing' (translation: left a sperm sample) and then we went and checked into our hotel. The plan was for J to come over to our hotel and leave her dd to swim with my girls while she went to the doctor for the IUI. J showed up. She was on her cell phone. It was the doctor's office where she was supposed to have IUI's. The problem was that the 'sample' was not good enough to proceed. In a nutshell the sperm were dead. We were devastated. We had done IUI before and the sperm were perfect. We had a sperm analysis before and everything was perfect. But now- dead. The doctor said for Joe to drink extra fluids and to come in the next day to try again. That night was a very somber night. Thankfully we were very tired so sleeping was the main event for the evening.
The next morning Joe and I went to the doctor's office. We were on pins and needles waiting for the report of how everything looked. When the assistant came out and said everything looked good and we could proceed I started crying. J had me go back with her for the IUI. I actually had the privilege of being there for both the creation of the 'sample' and the actual IUI. The next day we did another IUI. The two week wait was llloooonnngggg. J had a trigger shot which produces hCG so she too pregnancy tests to watch the hCG go out of her system the problem was that it never really left. It faded but never went completely white. Then it started getting darker. At that point she and I suspected she was pregnant. Joe had a harder time believing. When J really thought she was pregnant I wanted her to tell Joe. The look on his face while talking to her on the phone was something I will never forget. I know a part of him was scared to think that it was real. He wanted it so bad that he was afraid to believe she really was pregnant for fear that it was a false alarm. I don't think that he truly 'believed' until we went down for an ultrasound and he saw the baby kicking and punching with his own eyes. The I could see on his face that he knew his baby was alive and well.
Now we are almost 17 weeks along. We believe that we are having a baby boy. We go down on August 15th for another OB appointment and ultrasound. Our relationship with J is amazing. Sometimes I think "how can it be this good". She and I get along great. I look at traditional surrogacy as a life long journey not just nine months together. Our baby will be her biological child. It will be her daughter's brother (or maybe sister). Our (that is the collective our- Joe, Me and J) child will grow up knowing that it took all of us to have him. I have some very strong opinions about traditional surrogacy but I will save those for another post since this one has already went on forever. I'll wrap it up by saying that without the collaboration of J and Joe and I this child would never be.

Purging and favorites

Yesterday I purged some of my books. I now have 2 garbage bags full for our local 'library'. The library is a section at our feed store here in my small little area. I kept more books than I probably should have but for some reason it is hard for me to part with my favorites. I am the type of person who will re-read a book I love.

This morning I started on the movies. I didn't do as good with them. I only buy movies that I already love so it is hard for me to part with them. There are some movies on my shelf that I have watched a dozen or more times. It kind of drives my husband nuts when I want to watch one of my old favorites. I never tire of some of them.

My favorite movies in no particular order:
The Long Kiss Goodnight
The Matrix
Die Hard (1, 2 and 4)
Lethal Weapon (all 4 of them)
The Day After Tomorrow
Armageddon
G.I. Jane
The Transporter (1 and 2)
Legally Blonde (1 and 2)
Con Air (Nicolas Cage looks sooo good with long hair in a wife beater. yummy)

My favorite books:
The Red River Series
Return to Red River Series
The Love Comes Softly Series
The Little House Books

Do you have a book that you re-read or a movie that you watch over and over?

Baby stuff

Our surro called me this morning and asked what we are still needing for the baby. It then occured to me that I don't really know what we need. I have bought baby clothes like onesies and sleepers and I am expecting a box of clothes that I bought online. I bought a cute little boy bassinette that our cats love as you can see in this blurry picture. But I don't really have an overall idea of what we still need. I know we need diapers. We will be using cloth (much to my husbands dismay) and I have picked up a few but still need lots more. I have a boppy thing, a couple of slings and a diaper bag but that is it. I know we need a car seat but besides that what else? What can we not live without? Any and all suggestions are welcome. I'm going off to start researching. It has been so long since I had a baby in the house that I feel like a novice.